I Moved!

I'm sad to leave my red and white polka dots, but really, I've been fed up!  This morning I couldn't upload a picture, and that was it!  So I got some help and I moved! So check me out over at Wordpress!!

I'm Protected

Last week I found Rachel's Cure By Design.  As I was looking through these beautiful bracelets, I wasn't finding any that I would use as a medical bracelet.  But then I found a single charm.  And I remembered the bracelet my aunt gave me years ago.  So I decided to go for it.  So now I'm medical bracelet covered :)  And I couldn't be happier about the way it looks!

Cape Cod Bracelet

Medical Charm Side 1

Medical Charm Side 2

All Together

I'm Protected :)

I also got an adorable thank you note from Rachel with my purchase and I do think her bracelets are beautiful.  I am not obliged by any means to write about my purchase, but I think you should all go check her out!

Repercussions

Remember that scary low I told you about?

Well, it's still messing with my head.  I go through my days fearing numbers which are admittedly perfect (between 100-110).  Because lower than that, and I'm in double digits.  90s.  Scary.  80s.  Even Scarier.  70s.  Give me that juice!  60s.  Give me juice, get me a chair and don't talk to me!  I don't think I've been lower than that, and that's good because where else can I go from there.  So I admittedly have been running a little high this week, but mostly in the 140s range, which is not horrible.  Over-treating lows?  Absolutely.   And that's just during the day.  When I get home at night, I make dinner and eat dinner and I hang out, whether talking to friends or not, and trying to get up the courage to record my You Can Do This video.  Instead I watch others, (and this one over and over) and try to ignore the head games that diabetes is playing with me.  And then I try to go to bed.  And I sit on my couch scared to walk into my bedroom.  My bedroom is cozy, cool and comforting and diabetes has made it scary.  I don't want to go to sleep at night.  I read and play Angry Birds so that I literally can't keep my eyes open anymore.  Only then am I able to go to sleep.  Living alone and being alone?  It's scary right now.  That's what 23 does to a person!  

I want diabetes to leave me alone.  I know that in time I will be comfortable again, and I'll go to sleep at decent times and I won't lack patience anymore, and I won't need to survive on a caffeine drip because of the lack of sleep because of the fear.  I know that day will come.  But here, this week?  Not a chance.

Never Thought I'd Say That

This past weekend I went home for my cousin's high school graduation party.  It was your typical graduation cookout, besides the fact that it was rainy and raw outside.  There were family and friends and grandparents and small children.  And as I stood around the counter in the kitchen with my aunts, mother, and a few other women, one of them said "The last time I saw you you were three or four years old." (No wonder why I had no idea who she was.)  "It was at your uncle's house on the river and you were throwing up everywhere."  My response: "The last time you saw me was THE day?"

Diabetes has always been a big part of my life, but I'm much more comfortable talking about since I started this blog.  And to meet someone who last saw me on my D-day.  Well that's pretty damn cool.

Car Door

Taking a Trip

Today I'm writing over at my (real life!) friend's place, with a side of insulin.  While she's had this fabulous idea of getting a bunch of DOC-ers to write about traveling, I'm writing to you about my experience in getting on the plane in order to see her.  So please head on over, and enjoy my story.

A Low lower than my Age

I had a post planned for today, until I woke up at 1AM, tested my blood sugar and it was 23 mg/dL.  I believe that this is officially my lowest BG.  I was laying there in my bed feeling as though I hadn't fallen asleep yet.  If I'm really tired and still can't fall asleep, it tends to be because my blood sugar is low.  So I rolled over and tested.  And I saw 23.  I didn't know how I had dropped from 218 in such a short time (I didn't look at the clock before I tested), but my thought process was "okay, grab a juice box."  So I did.  I grabbed one juice box, gulped that, tried to play basketball with the box and my trash can, then laid back down.  I left the light on so that I would know I needed to test again.  I never fell back asleep, but I kind of re-awoke realizing I was way too hot and sweaty for the temperature it was supposed to be outside.  I rolled over again and then I was 34 mg/dL at 1:15.  That is when I went into panic mode.  I grabbed a juice box, then 4 glucose tabs, then justifying that I needed two more.  I didn't want another juice box, but I also didn't want the chalky taste in my mouth anymore.  I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my dried strawberries.  And I chomped on those until they were almost all gone and I thought I would be too high if I finished the whole container (I think there might be 5 left in there).  I laid back down and thought of everything bad that could possibly happen.  I thought of calling my parents to tell them that I was okay, and then realized that would just send them into even more of a panic getting that call at 1AM.  I left the light on again because I needed to test.  I think I grabbed my nook and played Angry Birds.  Then a half hour later tested and I was 132.  But I was so damn scared that I kept waking up every few hours.  And this is the day I got to go into work a little later and therefore grab a little extra sleep.  I was 196 this morning, so I should've been capable of functioning, but I wasn't.  I sat in my bed for quite a while, and then with 15 minutes left before I needed to leave, realized I should get dressed.