How to Bolus

Found

The other night I went out to dinner with Girl Genius, Boy Genius and Mom Genius after the ballet recital. After I look at the menu (and decide that I'll be getting a salad and ice cream) I test and bolus for my BG.  We're in the middle of a heat wave here, so I was in a sundress and therefore the pump was hidden.  This new handy meter-remote came in handy.  As I was bolusing, Mom Genius asked what I programming.  I explained how it saves everything, but I'm actually bolusing since my pump is under my dress.  And then we hear "Well that's okay.  You can lift up your dress to bolus."  Mom Genius and I both look down at Girl Genius wondering if she really just said that, and so I said "It isn't appropriate for adults to lift up their dresses, especially in restaurants."  And then we went back to discussing ice cream.  Even though every time I think back on it, I 1. laugh and 2. love her innocence.

Switchboard Hell

I was trying to get in touch with my PCP yesterday.  Dr. Cheerleader works at a hospital, so of course I have to call the main hospital line.  And I have to listen to how they've change their name, and that the push button options are different.  So I listen, and I realize that I need to push 4.  Four is what you do if you know the department or person you're trying to get in touch with.  So I listen to the man and after the beep I say her name.  "The name we heard is *correct first name* *totally completely incorrect last name.*  If this is wrong, press star and repeat."  I did this four times when Boy Genius started making weird/not-good-sounding sounds, so I hang up and I go check on him.  He's fine, and annoyed that I interrupted his book-reading.  I call again and start the process again.  I say Dr. Cheerleader's name two more times, and now I start getting *totally completely incorrect first name* *totally completely incorrect last name.*  OK, now I'm seriously frustrated.  So I say Internal Medicine instead.  "The name we heard is Physical Medicine.  If this is wrong press star and repeat." So I say it again.  "The name we heard is Internal Audit.  If this is wrong press star and repeat." I'm boiling (just like the pasta I'm making for the Genius children for dinner). I hang up, and I start all over again.  This time I press 1 to talk with a physician.  And I get a person!!  "Internal Medicine please"   And I get there.  I get to the intro person at Internal Medicine, and I get asked to say who my doctor is.  So I ask for Dr. Cheerleader, and that secretary is currently on the phone.  So I wait a few minutes, but they have it set up that if you wait a few minutes, to automatically leave a message and the secretary will call you back.  I leave my message.  And I stick my phone in my pocket (quite uncomfortable).  I wake up Girl Genius for her nap, and after cuddle time I call back again.  I go straight to 1, and ask for my doctor by name.  "I'm sorry, but that office is closed now."  I say okay, but in my head "ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!"  The message I left is important enough for a call back, and I don't get one.  I like my doctor, but I'd like to request she find a new place to practice.

Melting My Heart

Earlier this week, as I was eating lunch with Boy & Girl Genius, I was overcome with heat.  And I knew.  I knew that I was low.  I did a temp basal of 0% for a half hour, and after the kids were done with lunch, I went and tested and I was 56 mg/dl.  Girl Genius had just come back downstairs and she was talking to me about Coffee (the stuffed/pretend dog) and what we should name his friends.  I wish that I could get a picture of him for you, but they are attached at the hip.  Coffee eats lunch, breakfast and dinner every day, and when he wags his tail, he gets me in the knees. As Girl Genius was asking me how to spell Emily so she could make a nametag for Coffee's friend, I walked over to the fridge, grabbed the juice and poured myself a nice glass and sucked it down.  (Although, I like my juicy juice better because the cold makes it harder to gulp.)
Girl Genius looks at me, "Briley, are you low?"
Me: "Mmm."
Girl Genius: "Okay, I'll go in the playroom now.  Will you tell me when you're better so we can play again?"
This little 4 year old melts my heart.  She's been asking me "What temperature is your blood sugar?" when I test lately, so I thought she wasn't understanding any of it, but she's four, so I don't mind as much.  And then when my "patience" is wearing thin, she totally gets it!  This is the moment when it's worth it.  I'm sure that it stinks to have your nanny all of a sudden be sitting on the sideline, but she handled it with such grace!  Those symptoms hung around for quite a while, but as soon as they were over, we were singing Christmas music and making name tags for all the friends, as if nothing got in the way.

December 16: The Christmas Song

And What A Wonderful Year It Has Been

Last year, on the first Friday in December, I babysat for Boy & Girl Genius.  After they went to bed, I watched It's A Wonderful Life on TV.  Shortly before George yells "I want to live!" Mom & Dad Genius came back.  I sat down with Mom Genius at the kitchen table and they offered me my job!!  It's my first "big girl" job, and my first job out of college.  And what a wonderful year it has been:

• I moved to Boston with my best friend.  We found a steal of an apartment and it is a place where when I walk in the door, I instantly feel safe, secure & calm.  
• I connected with old friends, and they have become so close once again.
• We had a big St. Patty's Day party where all our friends came to see our apartment for the first time.  The next day I went into the hospital with DKA.  I was in the ICU for three days, until I had a nurse whose husband has diabetes and she told me that after 20 years, to go with my gut, and not what the ICU docs said.  I came home, scared & weak, but prepared to start anew.  I started anew in September when I jumped into the DOC and have not looked back.  
• I joined a sports club, where I joined a kickball team and met a few new people.  This is a big step in my life because I showed up all by myself without knowing anyone.
• I welcomed Rebel to the East Coast and welcomed her into my apartment for the summer.  We traveled to the beaches, Fenway, the North End, Connecticut, New Hampshire and lots and lots of good times.
• I bought my first car!
• I said goodbye to my grandfather for the last time. 
• I went out to Oregon and paid for my very first vacation.  I got to visit with friends that I didn't think I'd get to see this year, and I became a renewed person
• I started my blog and joined the DOC!
• I transferred from my parents insurance to my own.  I then found a PCP so that I could go to Joslin.  I'm finally being proactive in taking care of me!

December 8: Auld Lang Syne

Happy Thanksgiving

I am thankful for my family.  I know that this sounds generic, but especially this year.  It has been an all over the place year, and it starts with my parents.  When I started my first full time job, they were both there the morning I left.  When I moved in, I didn't have to do much because they were there.  When I was in the hospital, they were both there every day.   When my grandfather passed away, well, they were there to help me then too, even though mom was dealing with her own grief too.  On my birthday, which was probably one of the toughest days to get through for me, they made it a good day.  These are the big things, but every single day, they are there to support me.  I am thankful for the rest of my family too.  Where to start?  Well, there's the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the cousins once removed, the second cousins and the family friends who might as well be family.  I got to enjoy seven full months of this year with my grandfather this year.  I got to tell him about Boy & Girl Genius, and their funny stories.  I may be devastated to have lost my first family member this year, but I got 24 years with four grandparents. That's pretty damn sweet!  I am thankful to all my aunts, being there for support and my uncles to bring laughs.  Not that the uncles wouldn't support me, it's just that the aunts are better at it.  I got more support this year from them, through private emails and cards on the hard days, and congratulations on the good days.  My cousins are there for support, like most people have siblings.  I love them for all their quirks, support, laughs and uniqueness.  I don't know where I'd be today if it weren't for them (even though most of them are younger than me).  And family friends, well, they've been there since the beginning too.  Back when I was tired all the time from working and commuting way too far, they were there to love me and bring me back to life for Monday morning.  And now that I am living super close to work and loving every minute of that, I still make the time for them, and them for me, and always leave with a smile on my face. 

I am thankful for my friends.  They are my backbone, my support, my shoulder to cry on, my group to laugh with, they are my everything.   When I didn't want to commute from NH to Boston every day, I lived with my roommate and her parents.  I have reconnected with old friends this year, which I couldn't be more grateful for.  I have made new friends as well, and who can't help but love new friends!  When it seemed life was being filled with death, they were there to help me live my life to the fullest.  I am thankful that I have friends on both sides of the country, and that I was able to see all of them this year.  I  didn't think that would be possible, and it's the best gift I could've given myself.  When life seems to knock me down, these are the people who always know how to pick me back up.  

I am thankful for my job.  Granted there are days when my bed is comfortable and I don't actually want to get up, but I look forward to seeing Boy & Girl Genius every day.  I know that every day there will be someone to hold my hand, give me a hug and making me laugh.  This week I was astonished when Boy Genius was talking about the differences between carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide (he's seven).  Other subjects we have talked about include manual transmissions, weather patterns, and building a remote control, battery operated car.  And then I get to be Tinkerbell hugging stuffed animals with Girl Genius.  Sure, there are days when I walk through the door and look at my roommate and say "give me a drink!"  But they are few and far between.  Mom & Dad Genius are also very supportive.  When I was in the hospital, they almost brought the kids to visit me, but Boy Genius was sick too.  They brought me to Utah, where I got to ski incredible powder, and that helped me reconnect with an old friend who lives there.  When my grandfather passed away, they found places for the kids to go so I didn't need to be at work.  They are some of the nicest people I've ever met.  I thank God every day for the opportunity to work with this family.  

I hope everyone has a fabulous holiday, filled with people you love, food too bountiful, lots of laughs, and everything else you want.  HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

It Was That Kind of Day

Yesterday I had my very first appointment at Joslin.  I've been hearing wonderful things about Joslin for as long as I can remember.  Me though, I'm not a fan of new doctor appointments.  I'm not a fan of new anything actually.  It makes me nervous; I get all flustered; it's just not a good feeling for me.  I didn't have to work yesterday morning and Boy & Girl Genius were both set up for playdates in the afternoon.  But all of a sudden, my appointment is in two hours and I'm still sitting in my pajamas on the couch.  Luckily, the drive there is very easy from my apartment, so I was able to park my car in a garage.  Although, for those of you out there with minivans, you are not compact.  And I realize that your children don't actually have to open their doors to get out of the car, but those of us with compact cars, we do, and it's very hard to get in and out of our cars.  I start walking, and luckily there's a giant banner announcing where Joslin actually is. I walk past it though at first, but I manage to make it inside, where I was able to get to where I needed to be. Everyone there was quite nice, and I'll talk more about that later when my brain is actually functioning.  But after I was all done, I answered the four missed calls I had from a fellow nanny who was taking care of Girl Genius for me, and I was finally able to pick Girl Genius up at 5:00.  I don't usually have to drive at 5:00 since my day usually ends at 6:00, but we got stuck in rush hour traffic.  So a drive that should take 15 minutes, took us 40 minutes when I was finally able to pick up Boy Genius.  Ten minutes later, Dad Genius walked in the door and I was on my way to NH for synchronized swimming.  I got to see all the girls (especially the ones I used to coach), we practiced figures, and ran through each of our routines twice.  On the drive home, it was really windy and I saw the back of an 18-wheeler almost blow into the car in front of me.  There some sort of large carcass in the middle of the highway, and it was down to one lane because they were painting lines.  I got back to my apartment at the nice time of 10:30 and molded into the couch before peeling myself away to my bed.  


I definitely want to say more about my actual Joslin experience and to compare with others, but it was the first time I felt like I got treated like an adult, so it was a good experience, but like I said, that deserves to be written about with a functioning brain.  

Sometimes, it just invades

One of the perks of my job is that I get time off every morning.  But I also have to be glued to my phone in case anything happens with either of the kids.  I would be being nice if I called myself a walking disaster this week, so today I needed to clean, along with grocery shop, along with go to the grocery store for the genius family.  I had time to think about my schedule, so I wasn't stressed about it, I matter-of-factly went about my morning, even though all I wanted was coffee, coffee, and did I mention coffee?  Boy Genius got out early from school today, so I picked him up, he read for a little bit, we went out to lunch, and I realized that we needed to hurry.  "Okay Boy Genius.  As soon as...BOY GENIUS!" "What?" "As soon as I park the car we need to hurry and get inside, we're late." And so begins the process of explaining to him that we're late, it doesn't matter WHY, but we need to get in to get Girl Genius, which means put the book down....
We get Girl Genius and we're in the car and I'm 134 before driving away and she's talking in all her adorableness, but I'm still recovering from nearly being late, so I'm having a difficult time focusing.  We get to the grocery store.  Girl Genius is really well behaved in the grocery store.  Boy Genius is less well behaved because 1. he's a boy and 2. he's not as used to it.  He's in school for a longer day, so there's more time to go without him.  And I really don't like bringing him there, but there's only one way for him to learn...Did I also mention that it's time for Girl Genius's nap?  So I've got one cranky child and one that doesn't know how to behave.  Awesome.  In the parking lot, Boy Genius couldn't even hold her hand.  He grabbed her arm.  She asked him to stop and just hold her hand, so he does, so he starts swinging her arm, twisting it, pulling it.  We're also in the parking lot so I threatened him with "If you can't be nice to Girl Genius, you will holding my hand instead."  He stopped right away.  We get up to the grocery store (it's on the second floor) and we don't need a lot, so I grab the basket with the wheels.  Girl Genius loves to pull it, but I told her she needed to ask Boy Genius if he also wanted to help.  They walk into each other; he pushes her into the apple display, he trips her; she wants to use two hands; I gave up.  I told them that I was taking it because I was done listening to them fight in the grocery store.  After that, they were pretty good until we walked towards the cashiers where Boy Genius decides to run.  They fight over who put more on the conveyor belt.  They are upset the escalator is broken and I won't take the elevator, we take the stairs.  We go outside and Boy Genius almost walks into traffic.  I make him hold my arm, and then I think the car that let us cross may have been a kid I went to high school with.  I unlock the doors, get the kids in the car, put the food in the car and I get in.  I test and I'm 200.  Hello stress, so nice of you to join me and my diabetes.  Next time, don't.

Adrenaline

In a regular person world, Tuesday was a jam-packed, keep on rushing with adrenaline type of day.  (And suddenly as I'm writing this, my blood sugars make sense.)  I woke up, ran outside to move my car so it wouldn't get towed because of street cleaning, zombie-d my way back inside, tried to clean my apartment, changed my pump site, tried to find a new PCP (I need a referral for a new endo), then at 11:30 needed to pick up Girl Genius.  We go back to the Genius household but must be quiet because Mom Genius is working upstairs.  At 12:30 we pick up Boy Genius from school and we go out to lunch.  (Mom Genius wants us to be quiet since she is working and since I have both kids on Tuesdays, Tuesday lunches are usually pretty loud.)  We go to Bertucci's for lunch (where I swear they hire based on looks, but the service was also good, so I'm okay with this), from there we drop off/pick up the dry cleaning, run to iParty for a Harry Potter costume for Boy Genius (for those of you who don't know him, this is THE perfect costume), run home, pick up Mom Genius, and we all go to ballet for open house.  I am not a bad driver, and I'm a very calm driver with the kids in the car, but I get nervous as all hell when I have to drive Mom Genius.  We get to ballet, and there are shrieks because Dad Genius is there.  All day (it seems) I've been getting the question, "Is Daddy going to be at ballet?"  We all go in to see ballet class.  It's not like a real ballet class since all the kids are so darn excited their mommies & daddies can watch.  After ballet, we all pile back in my car and as soon as we walk in the door, Mom Genius leaves for work.  Girl Genius & I have a snack and then it's upstairs for a nap.  Boy Genius works on his homework then takes a shower.  I cook their dinner.  I wake Girl Genius up and she did NOT want to wake up.  Her naps have just been shortened to 45 minutes since she isn't sleeping well at night, but she isn't enjoying these 45 minute spurts either.  She plays with Boy Genius for about 10 minutes when Mom Genius gets home from work.  And explosion of screams and tears.  We had an over-tired, severely in need of hugs, Girl Genius.  And my work day was over.  The adrenaline was still pumping through me, so I decided to scan some old pictures at CVS.  As soon as that was done, it was time to end this fast-paced day. 

  

I had no choice but to love football

My numbers in the morning were okay.  After I got to work, my sugars started to climb, and then they hung out in the area of the 300's for about five hours.  The first I bolused with my pump, then after that, I bolused with a needle, and still nothing.  I was also drinking water, rather than my desired coffee, just to help.  Around 5:30, I felt thirsty as though I was probably 500.  I was ready to bolus without testing, but decided to give that handy dandy meter a shot.  115.  All day I didn't feel high, but I was, and then when I felt high, I couldn't ask for a better number.  I was great the rest of the night.  I felt low a little bit, but never actually went low. 

 I was thinking about it yesterday, and I couldn't figure out why my sugars were so high.  I was thinking about it this morning and still couldn't figure it out.  Not until I sat down to write this, and actually started writing and saw the word adrenaline did it click.  Adrenaline raises my blood sugar.  A day that was fueled by adrenaline: well now it makes sense.  Maybe next time I will be able to figure this out during the adrenaline high, and give myself just a teensy bit extra insulin and I can have a good diabetes day, along with a busy work day. 

Homework

Last week I was working with Boy Genius on his homework.  I took three different courses of elementary school math in college, so I understand most of the math lingo.  The "broken calculator" though, not so much.  Phonics is a little confusing still, especially since this was the first week of phonics homework.  Boy Genius is also a perfectionist, so it takes him longer to do his homework than it should.  He was writing sentences for his spelling words, and he was using the dictionary to find the correct spelling of some other words, when I started to get really annoyed.  I wasn't able to give Girl Genius a lot of attention because it was distracting Boy Genius and he couldn't find the word he was looking for even though it was right at the top of the page.  It took everything in me not to just tell him how to spell it.  I'm trying to remain calm and yet I'm getting really "heated."  And it dawns on me: I'm low.

In high school, I would leave class if I was low.  In college, I didn't have to finish an exam if I was low.  Here I am though, working on second grade homework, and I'm stuck.  I can stand up and test, take some tabs (which I did), but I still need to sit back down and focus.  Life doesn't allow you to walk away.  I need to focus, I need to be patient, and I need to remember that these children are not the reason I'm low.  It's easy to get frustrated when I'm low, but I need to remember that I'm frustrated at diabetes, not at the kids.  So I take a deep breath, grab some water, sit back down, and go back to second grade.

Memories

The other day I had a lot of memories come rushing in and I want to make them fit here.  The reason they fit, they have nothing to do with diabetes.

I got to work the other morning and Girl Genius & Mom Genius were sitting at the table eating breakfast.  Girl Genius was wrapped in a fleece blanket.  I remember sitting with my mother at our breakfast table one morning, when all of a sudden we heard lots of pounding upstairs and then all of a sudden Fluffy came rolling down the stairs.  We had a little beagle, Rags, who was jealous of Fluffy and would "attack" him any chance she got.  This moment, while seemingly annoying, also funny & impressive because Fluffy was definitely bigger than Rags.

This week has been kind of rainy, and the other day Girl Genius & I were walking to pick up Boy Genius & a friend from school.  We were bundled up in our pink raincoats, our boots, and we had a big red & white umbrella.  Unfortunately, this umbrella wasn't quite working correctly so every so often, it would collapse down and we'd get a giant puddle dumping down on us.  None of us were really excited about it, but I was in  a good mood despite the rain, so I said "It's an adventure!"  It reminded me of walking home from the bar with my roommate in college and it started to rain.  We took off our shoes & started dancing in the street.  It wasn't about the rain, or the people, or anything else.  It was just about enjoying the moment, no matter what was "in the way."

Exposed to Type 1

From September 24, 2010


In the long-term sense, yesterday was a good diabetes day. That was great, however, it also means that I was low quite a few times during the day.  Boy & Girl Genius have certainly noticed my diabetes, especially the pump, but Girl Genius asks a lot of questions.  She is not ignorant, she doesn’t have misconceptions, she is just young so she hasn’t been exposed.  I feel lucky to be exposing them to type 1 in a world predominated by type 2.  As we’re getting ready to walk Boy Genius to school, I realize that I’m dropping.  As I’m yelling to the Boy & Girl Genius to get their shoes on, I am scrambling into the kitchen where my work bottle of tabs is stashed.  Girl Genius follows me in (her shoes are on, so I’m trying not to get upset).  ”Briley, what are those?  Briley, what color are they? Briley, How come you aren’t answering my questions?”  Clearly this family is smart, and I’ve definitely used the “give me a minute or two and then I’ll answer your question” before, and had to use it again yesterday.  This is my response: “Girl Genius, You know how I have to test to see how much sugar is in my blood?  Well right now, there isn’t enough, so if I eat 4 of these, I’ll be okay.”  Sometimes it’s hard to explain diabetes (especially situational diabetes) to Girl Genius (especially when I’m low), but I live for the moments when she remembers.

Cue in cute music and memory:

We were driving to an activity and my old car was giving me trouble (see key word: old car) and something started beeping. Girl Genius: Was that your insulin pump? Are you okay?  Me: Yes, I am okay and thank you for asking, but that beeping was my car.  Girl Genius: Well, how do you know?  Shouldn’t you check just to make sure?