Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I Moved!

I'm sad to leave my red and white polka dots, but really, I've been fed up!  This morning I couldn't upload a picture, and that was it!  So I got some help and I moved! So check me out over at Wordpress!!

Monday, June 20, 2011

I'm Protected

Last week I found Rachel's Cure By Design.  As I was looking through these beautiful bracelets, I wasn't finding any that I would use as a medical bracelet.  But then I found a single charm.  And I remembered the bracelet my aunt gave me years ago.  So I decided to go for it.  So now I'm medical bracelet covered :)  And I couldn't be happier about the way it looks!
Cape Cod Bracelet

Medical Charm Side 1

Medical Charm Side 2

All Together

I'm Protected :)

I also got an adorable thank you note from Rachel with my purchase and I do think her bracelets are beautiful.  I am not obliged by any means to write about my purchase, but I think you should all go check her out!

Friday, June 17, 2011


Remember that scary low I told you about?

Well, it's still messing with my head.  I go through my days fearing numbers which are admittedly perfect (between 100-110).  Because lower than that, and I'm in double digits.  90s.  Scary.  80s.  Even Scarier.  70s.  Give me that juice!  60s.  Give me juice, get me a chair and don't talk to me!  I don't think I've been lower than that, and that's good because where else can I go from there.  So I admittedly have been running a little high this week, but mostly in the 140s range, which is not horrible.  Over-treating lows?  Absolutely.   And that's just during the day.  When I get home at night, I make dinner and eat dinner and I hang out, whether talking to friends or not, and trying to get up the courage to record my You Can Do This video.  Instead I watch others, (and this one over and over) and try to ignore the head games that diabetes is playing with me.  And then I try to go to bed.  And I sit on my couch scared to walk into my bedroom.  My bedroom is cozy, cool and comforting and diabetes has made it scary.  I don't want to go to sleep at night.  I read and play Angry Birds so that I literally can't keep my eyes open anymore.  Only then am I able to go to sleep.  Living alone and being alone?  It's scary right now.  That's what 23 does to a person!  

I want diabetes to leave me alone.  I know that in time I will be comfortable again, and I'll go to sleep at decent times and I won't lack patience anymore, and I won't need to survive on a caffeine drip because of the lack of sleep because of the fear.  I know that day will come.  But here, this week?  Not a chance.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Never Thought I'd Say That

This past weekend I went home for my cousin's high school graduation party.  It was your typical graduation cookout, besides the fact that it was rainy and raw outside.  There were family and friends and grandparents and small children.  And as I stood around the counter in the kitchen with my aunts, mother, and a few other women, one of them said "The last time I saw you you were three or four years old." (No wonder why I had no idea who she was.)  "It was at your uncle's house on the river and you were throwing up everywhere."  My response: "The last time you saw me was THE day?"

Diabetes has always been a big part of my life, but I'm much more comfortable talking about since I started this blog.  And to meet someone who last saw me on my D-day.  Well that's pretty damn cool.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Taking a Trip

Today I'm writing over at my (real life!) friend's place, with a side of insulin.  While she's had this fabulous idea of getting a bunch of DOC-ers to write about traveling, I'm writing to you about my experience in getting on the plane in order to see her.  So please head on over, and enjoy my story.

Monday, June 13, 2011

A Low lower than my Age

I had a post planned for today, until I woke up at 1AM, tested my blood sugar and it was 23 mg/dL.  I believe that this is officially my lowest BG.  I was laying there in my bed feeling as though I hadn't fallen asleep yet.  If I'm really tired and still can't fall asleep, it tends to be because my blood sugar is low.  So I rolled over and tested.  And I saw 23.  I didn't know how I had dropped from 218 in such a short time (I didn't look at the clock before I tested), but my thought process was "okay, grab a juice box."  So I did.  I grabbed one juice box, gulped that, tried to play basketball with the box and my trash can, then laid back down.  I left the light on so that I would know I needed to test again.  I never fell back asleep, but I kind of re-awoke realizing I was way too hot and sweaty for the temperature it was supposed to be outside.  I rolled over again and then I was 34 mg/dL at 1:15.  That is when I went into panic mode.  I grabbed a juice box, then 4 glucose tabs, then justifying that I needed two more.  I didn't want another juice box, but I also didn't want the chalky taste in my mouth anymore.  I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my dried strawberries.  And I chomped on those until they were almost all gone and I thought I would be too high if I finished the whole container (I think there might be 5 left in there).  I laid back down and thought of everything bad that could possibly happen.  I thought of calling my parents to tell them that I was okay, and then realized that would just send them into even more of a panic getting that call at 1AM.  I left the light on again because I needed to test.  I think I grabbed my nook and played Angry Birds.  Then a half hour later tested and I was 132.  But I was so damn scared that I kept waking up every few hours.  And this is the day I got to go into work a little later and therefore grab a little extra sleep.  I was 196 this morning, so I should've been capable of functioning, but I wasn't.  I sat in my bed for quite a while, and then with 15 minutes left before I needed to leave, realized I should get dressed.

Friday, June 10, 2011


I have this friend, who I've written about before, who inspired me to start this blog (without really knowing it) and who I've been trying to get to guest post here for quite a while.  (She's the one who convinced me to run 10 miles too,)  She just graduated college though, and I always said "when you have time."  Well now she has time.  Enough time even, to start her own blog.  She recently joined twitter, tries to get to #dsma chats if I text her early enough, and now she's jumping in with both feet to the blog arena.  Head on over and welcome her!

Thursday, June 9, 2011

How to Bolus

The other night I went out to dinner with Girl Genius, Boy Genius and Mom Genius after the ballet recital. After I look at the menu (and decide that I'll be getting a salad and ice cream) I test and bolus for my BG.  We're in the middle of a heat wave here, so I was in a sundress and therefore the pump was hidden.  This new handy meter-remote came in handy.  As I was bolusing, Mom Genius asked what I programming.  I explained how it saves everything, but I'm actually bolusing since my pump is under my dress.  And then we hear "Well that's okay.  You can lift up your dress to bolus."  Mom Genius and I both look down at Girl Genius wondering if she really just said that, and so I said "It isn't appropriate for adults to lift up their dresses, especially in restaurants."  And then we went back to discussing ice cream.  Even though every time I think back on it, I 1. laugh and 2. love her innocence.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Letter to the People on the Sidewalk

No, I'm not pointing at my cleavage

Last night after work I headed out for a run.  When it comes to diabetes and running, I'm a minimalist.  I bring glucose and that's it.  Those arrows in the picture, that is my glucose.  (And that is me immediately post run.)  And here is my letter to the people I saw out there last night. 

Hello other runners, walkers, cyclists and citizens, 
   First of all, take the time to look up from your cell phone when the sidewalk is narrow.  I'd hate to swat that out of your hand by accident.  Secondly, I realize that my shirt is probably riding up and you can see my belly and no, I'm not doing this on purpose, but it's flipping hot outside so I'm not wearing sleeves.  Also, I don't look like the other runners out here, but I'm out here, so give me a break.  Most importantly.  STOP STARING AT MY BOOBS!  They look teeny in a sports bra, so I know you're not actually staring at them.  You're staring at the white thing bouncing up and down in there.  Guess what!  It goes with the pink thing bouncing up and down on my hip.  And yes, it's making that skin even more red because I had to open it beforehand so the wrapper is jagged and irritating.  But it's better than getting stuck out there low.  What's low you ask?  Low is when I exercise and my blood sugar goes low and I could pass out.  So yea, the irritating wrapper, I'll deal with that.  But keep your eyes to yourself (except for you, toddler, you were adorable, and you were just being held at that height, it's not your fault)!  I would like to not take it with me, but that would be foolish and irresponsible.  I went through those days and I'm not going back.  I don't stare at your arms where your ipod is, or your head where your helmet is, so leave my freaking boobs alone!
Your T1 Neighborhood Runner

Monday, June 6, 2011

Climbing Up

I went out to meet a new group of people and enjoy rock climbing in the process.  If you know me, you would say "Wait, didn't you try rock climbing when you were 12 and hate it?"  And my answer would be yes.  But, that's a long time ago so I decided to try it again.  I checked out the website and it said a lot of people use it as an alternative to a traditional gym.  So I had to figure out the best way for me to D.  But I also had to account for the stress of dealing with my fear of heights and the stress of meeting an entirely new group of people.  And I had been dealing with what seemed like consistent yet unpredictable lows.  And I didn't want a low to sideline me.  I decided to reduce my basal rate down to 75%.  The good news is I never went low.  But I did consistently climb.  (And I'm not talking about up the wall.)  I don't like watching my numbers go up, but I honestly think it was more related to stress rather than not enough insulin.

When I was putting on my harness, I tried to wrap my pump in my t-shirt, but nothing stays exactly where it starts.  As I was climbing up in the beginning, my pump started swinging.  The woman belaying me told me my camera had come loose and did I want to throw it down to her?  I explained how I can't because it's an insulin pump.  I hadn't really wanted to, but sometimes you just have to tell people about diabetes.  And it worked in my favor because any time they noticed the rope was near my pump, they would alert me and I was able to slide my pump to a different spot on my waistband.  It was good to be aware.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Work with No D

All week Girl Genius has been talking about graduation tomorrow.  The four year old munchkin (which I like to call her, but she says "that's for tiny kids!"),  is starting Kindergarten in September.  I can remember my own Kindergarten graduation, and I remember memorizing a poem to recite, but I was 5, it's not THAT big of a deal.  Except that when I drove up to her school this morning, the tents were out, and all the extra hands were on deck and this wave of memory came crashing down. And I just want to pick her up and squeeze her!  I can remember meeting her in October 2009 when she said "I'm three, and I still suck my thumb, see!"  And when I babysat the next month and ended up at Boston College instead of her preschool.  And she didn't say a word the whole car ride!  (Crazy!)  As I drove away this morning I had tears in my eyes.  I know that I'm an emotional person, and that I cry at the drop of a hat, and that I get really attached to people, but I didn't think I would feel this!

Congrats Munchkin!  You're amazing :)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

More Low

Like I mentioned the other day, I've been going low, a lot.  My basals are down.  My ISF has changed from 1:35 to 1:40.  And my correction factors have changed.  And I'm still going low.  And I'm scared to bolus.  Yesterday afternoon I forgot to bolus for my snack.  You know how high I ended up? 217.  I should've been in the 300s.  I've been so focused on not going low, that my functionality as a blogger is severely lacking.  So excuse the brief post, but hopefully this low-ness will be fixed soon.

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it."  Margaret Thatcher