Switchboard Hell

I was trying to get in touch with my PCP yesterday.  Dr. Cheerleader works at a hospital, so of course I have to call the main hospital line.  And I have to listen to how they've change their name, and that the push button options are different.  So I listen, and I realize that I need to push 4.  Four is what you do if you know the department or person you're trying to get in touch with.  So I listen to the man and after the beep I say her name.  "The name we heard is *correct first name* *totally completely incorrect last name.*  If this is wrong, press star and repeat."  I did this four times when Boy Genius started making weird/not-good-sounding sounds, so I hang up and I go check on him.  He's fine, and annoyed that I interrupted his book-reading.  I call again and start the process again.  I say Dr. Cheerleader's name two more times, and now I start getting *totally completely incorrect first name* *totally completely incorrect last name.*  OK, now I'm seriously frustrated.  So I say Internal Medicine instead.  "The name we heard is Physical Medicine.  If this is wrong press star and repeat." So I say it again.  "The name we heard is Internal Audit.  If this is wrong press star and repeat." I'm boiling (just like the pasta I'm making for the Genius children for dinner). I hang up, and I start all over again.  This time I press 1 to talk with a physician.  And I get a person!!  "Internal Medicine please"   And I get there.  I get to the intro person at Internal Medicine, and I get asked to say who my doctor is.  So I ask for Dr. Cheerleader, and that secretary is currently on the phone.  So I wait a few minutes, but they have it set up that if you wait a few minutes, to automatically leave a message and the secretary will call you back.  I leave my message.  And I stick my phone in my pocket (quite uncomfortable).  I wake up Girl Genius for her nap, and after cuddle time I call back again.  I go straight to 1, and ask for my doctor by name.  "I'm sorry, but that office is closed now."  I say okay, but in my head "ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!"  The message I left is important enough for a call back, and I don't get one.  I like my doctor, but I'd like to request she find a new place to practice.